How to Raise a Successful Adult

Empowering Kids to Fix Things and Become Successful Adults

Teaching kids to be resourceful and capable individuals is a fundamental aspect of preparing them for adulthood. Here are some essential principles to help raise children who grow into successful adults:

1. Encourage Them to Fix Things

help to fixing

Robert Stephens, the founder of Geek Squad, became a successful entrepreneur because of his early curiosity and willingness to fix things. Encourage your child’s curiosity and desire to tinker with items around the house. If something is broken, use it as an opportunity to teach them how to fix it. If you don’t know the solution, research it together. Learning how to find information is as valuable as knowing it from the start.

2. Teaching Any Skill in Four Steps

Teaching Any Skill in Four Steps

Helping your child acquire new skills can be broken down into four simple steps:

  1. You help them out: Provide guidance and demonstrate how it’s done.
  2. They do it with you: Encourage them to participate alongside you, offering support and instruction.
  3. You see what they do: Observe their progress as they attempt the skill independently.
  4. They do it themselves: Empower them to complete the task on their own, fostering self-reliance and confidence.

3. Prioritizing Love and Chores

Prioritizing Love and Chores

Two vital components in parenting are love and chores:

  • Chores: Studies reveal that individuals who excelled in their careers often had childhood experiences with chores or part-time jobs. Chores teach children the value of hard work, teamwork, and contributing to the greater good.
  • Unconditional Love: Expressing unconditional love to your child is crucial. Avoid offering love solely based on their achievements; instead, let them know they are cherished no matter what. Just as you desire unwavering love, your child needs the same assurance.

4. Instill Courage to Face Challenges

Instill Courage to Face Challenges

Foster your child’s self-confidence and resilience by encouraging them to tackle big, real-life problems. Empower them to believe in their capabilities, even when faced with seemingly impossible tasks. Engage in meaningful conversations about leadership and problem-solving, helping them see opportunities in every challenge.

5. Ask the Tough Questions

Ask the Tough Questions

Promote independent thinking and decision-making by not making all choices for your child. Instead, ask them the hard questions to stimulate critical thinking and self-reflection. Encourage them to learn from their experiences and make informed decisions, even if they occasionally make mistakes. This approach will nurture their ability to assess risks and make wise choices.

In summary, empowering children to fix things, acquire skills, prioritize love and chores, face challenges, and think independently is the foundation for raising successful adults. By instilling these values and skills, you’ll equip your child to become a capable, resilient, and self-reliant individual ready to tackle the challenges of the future.

Another version of the article

Raising a child is a profound journey, a responsibility filled with both joys and challenges. As parents, we are entrusted with the remarkable task of guiding our children toward adulthood. Our role is not to dictate every step of their path but to empower them to explore, learn, grow, persevere, and ultimately, become independent individuals. In today’s world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of micromanaging our children’s lives or, inadvertently, obstructing their journey. This well-intentioned but misguided approach can hinder the development of their self-efficacy, potentially leading to anxiety and depression. It’s time for us to reassess and refine our parenting strategies, allowing our children to acquire the skills and wisdom they need to thrive as adults. Here’s a simplified, child-friendly “Four… Three… Two… One… Go!” method to guide you on this transformative parenting journey:

FOUR: The Four Steps to Teaching Your Child Any Skill

  1. You do it for them: Initially, you perform the task for your child to demonstrate and instruct.
  2. You do it with them: As they learn, engage in the activity together, offering support and guidance.
  3. You watch them do it: Gradually, step back and let them take the lead while you observe their progress.
  4. They do it on their own: Finally, encourage your child to perform the skill independently, instilling a sense of self-reliance and accomplishment.

THREE: The Three Things to Avoid Right Away

  1. Stop saying “we” when you mean your child: Be clear about individual roles and responsibilities, avoiding the use of “we” when it’s your child’s task or achievement.
  2. Stop arguing with teachers, coaches, etc.: Instead of intervening, teach your child to advocate for themselves respectfully. This fosters independence and problem-solving skills.
  3. Stop doing their homework: Allow your child to complete their own assignments, as it promotes self-discipline and responsibility.

TWO: The Two Key Aspects of Parenting

  1. Chores and love: Engage your child in household chores to instill a strong work ethic and a sense of contribution to the family. Additionally, express unconditional love to your child, letting them know they are cherished regardless of their achievements.

ONE: The One-Week Cleanse for a Stronger Parent-Child Relationship

To reestablish a healthy parent-child dynamic, try this one-week cleanse:

  • Put aside technology for a week and encourage your child to do the same.
  • Sit down with your child, look them in the eye, and say: “Hey kid, I know I’m always asking you about tests, grades, and homework, which might make you feel like I don’t care about other aspects of your life. I’m sorry about that.”
  • Reiterate your belief in their abilities: “I know you do care.”
  • Make a commitment to change: “For one week, I won’t ask about your academics, tests, or homework.”
  • Reaffirm your faith in them: “I know you’ve got this.”

This approach shifts the focus away from constant academic monitoring, allowing your child room to develop their independence. Instead of inquiring about school-related matters, ask open-ended questions about their interests and life. This cleanse often leads to positive changes, including improved behavior from your child, greater self-initiated effort in their schoolwork, increased happiness, reduced parental anxiety, and a more joyful atmosphere at home. Following the cleanse, you can incorporate these insights into your daily life, maintaining a healthy balance between your child’s academic progress and their overall development.

Remember, your child longs for your unconditional love and genuine interest in their unique pursuits. Embracing this wisdom can transform your parent-child relationship, fostering independence and strengthening your bond.

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